Bundy's Rants

Woe is me

2008-08-27T07:29:00.000-07:00

Troubles don't melt like lemon drops
They multiply and feed on your joy
Like ravenous locusts destroying crops
It knows no mercy, with your feelings they toy

One moment a glimmer of hope,
The next, leaving you in darkness to grope

I try to hold me head up high
Telling myself time for peace is nigh

Only to be brought down in the dump
Making me desperate enough to jump

For now I can hope and pray
And maybe soon I shall see a sunny day?

My 29 Years on Planet Earth

2008-05-25T17:42:00.000-07:00

Today, I have successfully made through 29 years of my life on this plane of existence. And this is still the best yet so far. I have a wonderful and supportive family. I have a beautiful, loving and passionate girlfriend. I have a group of close and fun-loving friends. I feel blessed.

My life has definitely taken a turn for the better this year and I can only hope that it will keep improving.

The high point of yesterday was the surprise my close group of friends gave me. My best buddy, my cousin and her boyfriend made a cake for me and then gathered all my friends at my house to celebrate my birthday for me. This was so unexpected, I never expected and when i opened the door and they started to sing 'Happy Birthday' to me, I nearly cried. (Yes, go ahead say it, I am so 'Gu Niang')

Thanks to (in no order of preference and merit): Jonathan, Wanjun, Tricia, Wilson, Qiaoling, My Parents and last but not least My Baby! Lydia! Muack!

2008-04-07T00:20:00.001-07:00

This Dream I Woke Up From

2008-01-24T07:39:00.000-08:00

With tender hands on my face
The kiss still warm in place

The caress so sweet and soft
Puts my heart and soul aloft

The body is tainted again with lust
Yet the heart holds true with trust

This union is certainly unbecoming
Wagging tongues and gossip teeming

It is love or a simple crush?
Will it be over in a rush?

The answer came to me so clear
No longer do I need to fear

For I have woken up from this dream
Soon it will be memory up in steam

The Reservist.

2008-01-22T04:51:00.000-08:00

I have been a PES E personnel since the day I registered for my National Service. Being a PES E personnel means that you are excused from all forms of physical activity in the force. Usually that would mean, you ended up being an administrative clerk for some people they would envy people like us, saying that we have a very cushy life.

For myself, I have never viewed National Service as a citizen's obligation but my right and honour to serve my country in a military defense capacity, to be a real man. When I started my stint as a clerk in MINDEF, I was a little disappointed being poseted so far from my home to do administrative.

That disappointment soon turned to a huge challenge as I soon realised that the job in store for me was not a mere administrative role. It was a one of great importance as it helps to shape the career path of many regular servicemen in the force.

I disrupted after 2 years and went to to pursue my studies. After 4 years I went back to the Army to serve the remainder of the NS term in a small unit with no gfreat contributions whatsoever. And I thought that would be the end of my involvement in NS.

2 years after I ORDed, I received a letter to go back for reservist. I was puzzled at first as most PES E personnel are not called back.

So here I am, well into the third week of my ICT, and feeling more proud then ever to be able to serve my country in a greater capacity than ever.

I may not be able to serve with my body, but I can serve with my mind and my spirit.

Music is my soul food

2008-01-14T06:39:00.000-08:00

Oh ya! Its 2008 already! And I am still clubbing...what the heck? So much for the new year resolution to cut down on clubbing. Every time the feeling after clubbing is pure fatigue and I keep telling myself "This is the last time!". After a week of recovery, the music and the dance floor calls out to my very soul, causing me to yearn for it like a man in a desert yearns for water.

The feeling is indescribable when I am putting my moves to the groove. The earth stops revolving, tomorrow will not come until the music stops. Music moves me, feeds me, sustains me. When the music plays I stop being myself and surrender to its rhythm.

Cantrary to many people's beliefs, its not alchohol that causes intoxication, it the music!

How can I stop when it affects me sooooooooo much? Tell me how?

The $10 KTV Session

2007-12-15T20:24:00.000-08:00

My cousin brought me to this really cool KTV outlet in Smith St., Chinatown and boy was the place cool! You can have free flow of drinks and they even give you a bowl of complimentary shark's fin soup! I would like to state for the record that I am against the consumption of shark's fin due to the inhumane way of killing the poor animals but still no KTV I have been to can match up to their price and value for money. Simply amazing! I know I sound like a caveman being so ignorant to the KTV scene in Singapore.

After all, this coming from a guy whose repertoire consists of like maybe 4 English songs and 2 Chinese songs that should not be too surprising. Anyway, I am definitely going back there again but I would definitely need to learn some new songs, apparently its kind a no-no to sing songs to MTVs which consists of babes in bikinis having nothing to do with the song.

I have included a video here showing my cousin and her friend doing their exellent rendition of 'First Love' by Hikaru Utada. There is also a green ninja in the video....watch out for him.

Love or Money

2007-12-14T08:22:00.001-08:00

I don't have a car and I don't have money
So the gals always tell me 'No way, Honey'

My love and care isn't good enough
Cause you said that life would be tough

Just being with me would be such a chore
So you start to set sail for a richer shore

It doesn't matter if he's older or uglier
As long as he is much wealthier

'Don't worry be happy' does not apply here
Cause most feel my job is not my career

Lamenting and complaining is sure not helping
Could I earn more if I started pimping?

Love me? Love my money?
Apparently so for my Asian honey

Felicity

2007-12-13T07:15:00.000-08:00

One heart torn between two loves
One mind seeking solace in droves

Undecided,
heart divided

One half seeks passion and excitement,
The other seeks stability and contentment

Lust or love,
or none of the above

Oh, when will she see the light
When can she give up this fight

Fight or flight
Stay the night?

Heart so brokened and troubled
Seeking love, efforted doubled

Cry or smile
Walk the mile

Tears and rain run down her face
A home she has yet belonging no place

Closure

2007-12-13T07:06:00.000-08:00

I have wondered how I would react if I ever saw my ex again after our breakup. Would I be angry, sad or would I avoid seeing her at all. Well, that question was answered when I saw her today when she was knocking off to go and get her bf a Christmas gift.

I ran and caught up with her, when I called her name she was a little apprehensive but she did not run or anything. We had a decent and cordial conversation and realise that we could stil communicate without any one of use turning into animals.

Overall, I guess it was fate that allowed me to meet her again. From our short 15-minute conversation, I managed to confirm a lot of things that I had been wondering about. Like why exactly she left me for the other guy. I realised that money played an important factor too. A stone-broke guy like myself would have problems settling down with no money in the bank. I guess ultimately the love in that relationship could not stand the test of money. Ha ha. Maybe then there was really no love in it at all and it was all just one sided? Oh well, its water under the bridge.

Perhaps it is high time I start re-looking at my finances and REALLY start to plan for my future....though its like the umpteenth time i have told myself this. SAVE SAVE SAVE!

A December To Remember

2007-12-03T06:46:00.000-08:00

Its soothing hands caress my face

Soft and gentle, like English lace

The glistening of a drop of dew

Yet those who savoured it are few

Its warmth blankets against the cold

Safe I am, sheltered between its fold

The eternal sunset stays in mind

Seen even by those who are blind

Its power makes precious stones

Cheapened, turned dust and bones

The expansiveness of the ocean

Would seem small by its comparison

Its light would show the very way

To place for the world-weary to stay

I speak of love, its power and greatness

The source of both grief and much happiness

I speak of love because I felt it and I knew it

But I speak not more of it because I found it

I found it in the month of December,

A December for which I will remember

Its the most wonderful time of the year!

2007-12-03T06:24:00.000-08:00

Alright people we have finally made it to December 2007! Woooooohooooooo! In my opinion, its the best damn freaking month of the year! Its not just the because Christmas is round the corner or because of New Year's Eve. December is a month that represents closure and it also represents a period of reflection.

I certainly have done my own reflection of 2007. I felt in general, I have had a pretty good year with the obvious exceptions of two major boo-boos at work and my breakup. I guess I learnt to take things in my stride and always, always, always look on the bright side of life.

I also strongly believe that whatever happens to me, happens for a reason. Call it fate, luck or god's will, if things have not happened the way they did I certainly would not be where I am today.

The curious thing is that all the good things that happened, happened only after the breakup. For one thing, I became closer to the Velvetine girls and have almost become a "sister" to them.
I also managed to re-established contact with one of my "long-lost" cousins and have made acquaintances with some of her cooler friends.(haha) But I guess the most important event that occurred was meeting a certain someone who somehow made me feel I could love again.

I know some people who know me will feel that this is like a normal kind of thing for me but what most people don't know is that I have cried my eyes out everytime I go through a breakup. I put up a happy front so that no one will know my true suffering but the pain and sorrow is all there. I carry it with me everyday, the lucky thing is that the period of carrying the emotional baggage is over.

The very thought of finding someone so quickly often frightens me and sometimes leaves me skeptical. I question myself whether that someone is a rebound? The answer at first was so unclear, but very quickly the answer revealed itself....

Anyways, I am definitely looking forward to all the exciting things that will be happening next year.....especially the trip to Tokyo! I fervently wish that my life will get increasingly better and that my career will have more opportunities for growth!

But before we can even hit 2008, I need to start planning for my Christmas activities and presents.

Ah....This is truly a December to remember!

Linger

2007-11-24T01:18:00.000-08:00

At first things seems to be so right

My future with her was all so bright

Quarrels and fights we may have had

Yet down the path of love we've been lead

Growing stronger each and every day

Hand in hand in work and play

We guided and support one another

Thinking there will be no other

She was my world and I was to her

The love we had nothing could deter

Until the day he met her.

So swiftly my world came down crashing

Painful and deadly, I felt like dying

Never had I been hurt so bad

Never thought someone could make me so sad

Yet in reflection, I now see

It was a fate I could not flee

As much as I have tried

So many times I have cried

All the best plans may have been laid

But nothing stands in the way of fate

For now I am glad what happened happened

Thank you my friends no need to be saddened

For I have finally experienced for once in my life

The feeling of commitment in the face of strife

There is no hate, no more pain nor anger

Only the happiness of my past still linger

I write the poem not because I am sad. I wrote it as a reminder to myself and also as testament to the trails that one can go through in life. No matter how bleak the situation is there is a always always a silver lining in the clouds. PEACE people!

The Cousins' Clubbing Session

2007-11-24T01:13:00.000-08:00

Despite what I said about clubbing, once again I am going for one this evening. The only difference today is that there are going to be cousin's about 4 of them. Hows this for a fun wholesome family outing? Ha Ha. I going to update this with photos later.

Clubbing Frenzy

2007-11-17T21:02:00.000-08:00

I thought it was going to be fun. Well it was for a while....but clubbing is once again losing its appeal and I begin to remember why I stopped going in the first place. In the span of one month I have clubbed six times or so. It was exhilarating on the first time, then it got better, the photo taking was fun too.

The drinks were okay too, but then I don't drink much *snicker*. Just the last night of clubbing, I realised I have reached my peak already and the feeling of emptiness has set in. Meeting new people is nice, but I would like to meet people under a more toned down setting.

The painted faces, gyrating bodies and vacuous smiles does not bode well for a future for a finding a settling-down partner. Not that I want to rush into marriage but sometimes i just feel that I can do something more with my life. I want to.....just cannot find the motivation to do so.

At 28, my achievements are mediocre, at this rate I will never make it big. I wish could stop bitching about it and do something instead but currently my hands are tied for the next 3 years.

I feel so bloody dispassionate about what I do for a living, when I entered the workforce, I truly thought that I would be in a organization that can make a difference in society but that's simply looking at life through rose-tinted lenses.

I have a responsibility to my job and owe it to my parents to have made it this far. There maybe someone just round the corner but life is so filled with uncertainties that even that possibility may seem like an impossibility.

Wait, a sudden realisation hit me again....without friends I am nothing. I digress.....

I must be positive
I must be positive
I must be positive
I must be positive
I must be positive
I must be positive
I must be positive
I must be positive
I must be positive

Ok, I am now positive!

Tears of a Rose

2007-11-17T20:17:00.000-08:00

A quiet day alone
No one else at home

Matters of the heart
Don't know where to start

Those tears she shed
Like the heart that bled

Pain and desperation
With little consolation

A mother who doesn't know
The pain inside her will grow

A boyfriend who doesn't care
Loving him is a dare

A job with no satisfaction
Lesser is the renumeration

All else seems to be hopeless
Her life shrouded in darkness

And yet hope is all around
In abundance which will astound

If she opens her heart and eyes
She will never utter those cries

For people who love her
Are all around her

Supporting her
Caring for her

Should the world be torn asunder
Everything in life goes under

She will know at least one friend
Who will be there till the very end

2007-11-13T21:26:00.001-08:00

Victoria's (Not So Secret) Secret

2007-11-13T07:17:00.000-08:00

The world is my oyster
Seeking its pearls, I wander
The globe and every corner,
Growing colder but at times warmer

And yet my life is a wonder
A miracle blooming like a flower
Wonderous and full of power
Of life and love, every hour

With a heart now healed and stronger
Heralds a new day and music louder
The sweet sound of life above my head it towers
Chasing my fears away, they will cower

This is my life, this is my hour
This is my fate, I will holler
This is my way, I won't falter
This is my world, this is my oyster

The Dancefloor

2007-11-10T06:13:00.000-08:00

In the dim and misty den

Many come, women and men

Pulsating music, flashing lights

Fun but sometimes carnal delights

Gyrating bodies and swaying hips

Many kissing strangers' lips

Cares and concern all but abandoned

Mistakes made but never learned

Morality is non-existent

Sexuality and lust is persistent

Intoxicating spirits and wines
Turns many a prince into swines

The curse and bane of many

Unable to resist the female fanny

Gone are the days of joy

Nothing left but someone's discarded toy

Emptiness ensues, encroaches

Satisfaction and simple joy beyond our reaches

Curse and swear if you must

Your heart, your head you cannot trust

Try as you might not to be a whore,

But fail you will while you are on the dancefloor

Hope Is All That We Have

2007-11-08T19:02:00.000-08:00

Beauty seen in starlight

Hidden flaws away from the bright

Charmed is the heart of mine

Blinded my eyes over time

Pride towered over many men

Failure eroded it like winds of sand

Sifted through the sieve of life

Seeing it can never be without strife

Yet hope and love remain

Within grasp of those in pain

Life In Wonderment

2007-11-06T08:10:00.000-08:00

Life's wonders never seem to cease
Many in disguise but there to please
Its fickle hands often tease
Falling many to its disease

This pain has no cure to ease
Yet joys and pleasures within its crease
Eluding many, the many who cannot seize
The lucky few who find, can feast

And enjoy to no ends beyond the west and east
Contentment and joy tames the savagest of beast
Stills the gnawings of the hungry but still a short lease
Life's wonders truly never cease

Workout in Orchard.

2007-11-04T08:08:00.000-08:00

I was just complaining to myself for the lack of determination to continue my gym sessions and was wishing that I could get my workout soon.

Well, people always say, 'Be careful of what you wish for, you might just get it'.

Today I was practically dragged from OG to Far East Plaza to hunt down a 'simple black dress'. SIMPLE? Far from it. Today I have come across 27 variations of a 'simple black dress' from no less than 12 department stores and boutiques. The price ranged from $10 to $599......*choke*.

Anyways my good friend finally found what she wanted for a very reasonable price, so reasonable she bought 2 dresses.

Most men dread to follow their girlfriends or wives to go shopping. But little do most men realize that shopping is actually a great way to build up your relationships. So guys, don't be so short sighted. Think long term. When shopping, actively participating in your GFs/wives decision to purchase that item is important to her, EVEN if she does not really listen to your opinion after she asks for it. It shows that you care! And if you are observant, you can see deeper into her personality when she choses an item, how she chooses an item and how she bargains for the item. Take time to look at shopping from a totally different angle. It will REALLY benefit the relationship.

Like most my posts, take it with a pinch of salt.

Stardust

2007-11-04T07:43:00.000-08:00

The nice thing about watching movies without seeing the trailers or reading the synopsis first is that you can step into the cinema without any expectations whatsoever. The movie Stardust was one of such movies. I was 'conned' into watching this movie at the insistence of my good buddy.

All I can say about this movie is that it is a romantic story with fantasy elements and I feel that the show is DAMN good! Bloody enjoyable!

I loved it when Claire Danes tried to define what love is:"Love is unconditional, unpredictable, unexpected...", her words reflected my exact sentiments!

Anyway, after the show, we decided to head down to Bali House to chill out, I don't know if it was me having a weak tolerance to alcohol but the margaritas thee are super-potent, after my third glass my head was spinning and my poor buddy had no choice but to send 5 ladies and myself home. He is such a gentleman!

Today, another close friend of mine introduced a new friend to the group. A fitness instructor at Cali! OMG....I was so impressed. Well, not a full fledge instructor, but she is training to be one.......from her stature you probably think she teaches yoga or something....but nooooooo....its BODY COMBAT! The world is changing I tell you!

OK, I need to go back to gym again.

Nice little chill out place

2007-11-02T20:10:00.001-07:00

Thanks to Miss Sarah, I discovered a nice little chill out place called "Bali House" behind Orchard Meridien. It feels a little like Villa Bali @ One Rochester except that its WAAAAAAAAY more accessible. Very very cooling at night, the only thing that bothered me was the DJ's taste in music, he seeemed to have a penchant for alternative rock, not exactly a suitable genre for a place like that. So, short of plugging my iPod into their sound system, I had to keep bugging the DJ with song requests to make the ambience nicer.

I should bring my other friends there soon. Damn forgot to take some photos of the place. There is a very cute tomboyish waiteress by the name of Michelle, she was very accomodating to Sarah's and my requests.

Okie people soon soon!

Oooooh yes! Another Random Realisation!

2007-11-02T19:59:00.000-07:00

Whenever people get involved in a relationship, they often make sacrifices and compromises, sometimes without even knowing it. When the relationship does not work out, most people often feel a void. This void that most people feel is not because the person has left you but rather because of the sacrifices and compromised that you have made in order to fit this person into your life.

Disagree with me? Well, if your life was void before you met your other half, what the hell have you been doing all this while? Being a zombie? I don't think so. I guess a more accurate analogy is when you are single your life is a bucket filled to brim with water, when that special someone comes along, that person becomes the rock that gets put into your bucket. The rock, of course, displaces the water the in bucket, but still leaving it filled to the brim. When that special someone leaves you, the rock gets taken out, the bucket becomes half empty...thus the "void"

So I am a bit skeptical of people who say "You complete me." based on the above theory of course.

DISCLAIMER:
Please read my posts with a grain of salt, they are simply opinions and do not represent the views of most guys.

Life's just wonderful isn't it?

Random Thoughts about Love (Irony Irony Irony)

2007-11-01T05:50:00.000-07:00

Today's lunch was an interesting experience. I have come to realise that most people are actually afraid to love whole heartedly for fear of getting hurt. So their love to the other party is like 80% 90%, which even stranger that you can actually measure love. How do you know how much is enough, who is to say "You don't love me enough"? How can anyone measure love?

If you cannot love a person whole heartedly, how can you even call it love? I am not talking about love for a child/parent/friend/pet, I am talking about the love that couples share. If you are afraid of getting hurt, then you should not fall in love in the first place. Love is a very fragile rose, you don't take care of it, it will die, you care too much for it, it will die. This is the problem where most people have.....the inability to nurture love, which is the reason for many breakups and divorces.

Loving someone whole heartedly is a courageous thing, it means you are not afraid of falling down and getting hurt, it means that you are free from all doubts, it means the person means more to you than life itself. Its cliche but I know this for a fact.

The next time you utter those three little words, think of the implications they have. The word "love" is often overused and abused, people THINK they know what love is, love is not something you think about, it s not something you write about (ironic isn't it?) , love is something intangible but has the power to move mountains and make the strong weep, make the weak strong, it made me write about it......and I still have no idea I created this entry......

Okie I need therapy.

Yet Another Unexpected Source of Quotes

2007-10-31T04:56:00.000-07:00

I was reading some Marvel comics recently and I came across yet another interesting quote;

When the weight of the world is on your shoulders, just shrug

Ok, this isn't exactly the way it was said in the comic but I think I captured the essence of it pretty well.

A Thought Came To Me

2007-10-30T09:08:00.000-07:00

Many a time, in a relationship, many of the other party tend to compare with other people's other half. I think this is a start of a disaster, once you start to compare you will find your other half lacking in a lot of things.......but have you stop and wondered why in the first place you have chosen him/her? Remember those reasons, hold on to them, nurture them, let it become the basis of your relationship.

In any relationship, whatever the results, its the effort and the interaction of 2 people. The success and failure of a relationship rides solely on the shoulder's of these 2 people. People often say that "love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear" and I totally agree to this.

My ex-girlfriend's chief complaint was that I never showed her enough care nor enough love and that was why she fell for another guy. Maybe she was using it as an excuse maybe its not, but I realised it did not matter anymore. I do not hate her nor do I still have feelings for her, I have come to accept things the way they are because I believe along the way I have contributed to this end.

It has now started to rain, and my spirit and mind feel cleansed. I no longer harbour thoughts of ill-doing.

Some of my friends may wish her ill-luck but I would not have any of it. Everyone has a right to happiness and she is no exception. I, too, hope to find my happiness one day and hope that it will last too!

Well, looking on the bright side, I now have more time for friends and I am making new ones now! Hee!

Interesting Quote from an Unlikely Source

2007-10-29T08:49:00.000-07:00

I heard this quote from some Taiwanese drama serial:

Do not be sad if you have lost something, because it means you may once again find it
Do not be happy if you have gain something, because it means you may lose it.

Meaningful, but what does it really tell us?

Changing for the worse.

2007-10-29T07:18:00.000-07:00

Sigh, a friend of mine just told me she feels unappreciated and 'unwanted' by her boyfriend. She wants me to teach her to be a 'bad' girl. She wants to have

Eyes that charm
Lips you wanna kiss
Hips you wanna hold
A face you never forget
A body you cannot keep your eyes off

How should I know how to achieve that, I am not a plastic surgeon. All you guys with girlfriends out there, show your bloody appreciation by giving her a hug, buy her a small gift, whisper "I love you" into her ear....just do from the bottom of your heart with love and I am sure she will feel appreciated and wanted.

Faith, Loyalty and Trust is the foundation of all relationships, without it a relationship cannot be built upon it.

Night @ Blush

2007-10-28T01:12:00.001-07:00

Aaaaaall riiiiiight!

First up I want to thank Sarah, for bringing us all into Blush and helping waive the over charge.

Second I wanna thank Brudder, JX, Philip, Qiaoling, Joey, Kenneth and the rest of the gang for coming down with me for some fun.

It was a heck of a wild night, interesting things happened some good some bad but overall, it was one hell of experience.

Brudder was wasted pretty early in the day and it turned out that the sole survivor of the outing was Qiaoling and me as we were the last to leave. Poor girl could not figure out to dance to the spins of DJ KoFlow. Well, I can't really blame her, I have a hard time dancing to the tunes!

Next round: Ministry of Sound!

Kaki and me @ The Arena!

2007-10-27T03:25:00.000-07:00

My kaki brought me to The Arena at Clarke Quay. The place rocks! They had a very cool R&B live band! I had a great time there! Thanks, kaki!

Rong-er, Kerri and Me

2007-10-21T01:08:00.000-07:00

This Sunday was a fun outing with Rong-er and Kerri. For this first time in a long while I took neo-prints and Kerri was nice enough to bake Rong-er and me cookies. Not just any cookies....THE cookies for Kerri, they are to die for I tell you!

The taste? Famous Amos would be ashamed.

Ooops. Left Jean out of this outing, boy is she going to be miffed!

The rendezvous with Rushy

2007-10-20T02:41:00.000-07:00

This girl provided the high point in the week of horrible happenings. She gave me the much needed reprieve and took my mind of things. Though we have not met up for nearly 2 years, that gap was apparently not there when we spoke, she reminded me of better times before and also the possibility of happier times ahead.....of course I believe that....I have been through worse and survived and of course I will survive this disaster. I'm a survivor!

Back to blogging.

2007-10-19T02:26:00.000-07:00

I distinctly recall having a blog somewhere on the web....I wasn't maintaining for a while......then now I can't seem to find it..sheesh!

Anyway, its near the end of October already. I cannot wait for for 2007 to be over. It has been my "annus horribilus"

Work doesn't seem to work out, my finances suck and to add insult to injury, my girlfriend left me for someone else. Oh well, that's life I guess.

I am thankful for all those friends, whom I ostracized because of my ex-girlfriend, being there to support me. Everyone was telling me right from the start that she was not right for me and I believe that I could go against all odds and make things work. I guess my best was not enough.
Ah....shit happens. Still I also have the support of mom and dad.

Career aspect, everything seems to be going downhill......

Bloody depressing...

There has to be a silver lining in this dark cloud....I have to find it.